Coming to Ethiopia
By Bethlehem Mesfin
Many of us grow up in households that ingrain this idea of the stable life – getting a job, then marriage, and finally, a family. The End. It wasn’t until my trip to Ethiopia in November of last year, that I realized I needed something different to happen in my life. As I boarded the plane to return to the States, I had a strange feeling that I would be returning very soon. It freaked me out. My only other experiences with the country had either been for the burial of my mother or the illness of her mother. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was to bring me back. Months flew by, and I still could not shake the feeling that something was out there waiting for me.
Ultimately, I decided that I would embrace the unknown for the first time in my life. I packed up all of my belongings and moved to the country of my family’s origin, Ethiopia. I can remember the mixed reactions I received when I told people what I’d be doing. Those who were not Ethiopian, gave me looks of disbelief – looks that suggested I was doing something ‘extreme’ and that I had somewhat of an unrealistic belief that I could or would change the world. From the Ethiopian community, I received confused looks and uncertainty – “Yishalishal? (Is that really better for you?) Yee, okay if you feel like this is right”.
“Until this point in my life, I’ve always had a distant relationship with Ethiopia. The majority of my understanding of the culture has been passed onto me by family through tariq or weray (stories or passing conversations).”
As a result, I’ve developed a deep unexplainable love and pride for what was taught to me as my country. If anyone asked me what I was, my first reaction was to respond that I was Ethiopian. American was something that I considered secondary. This doesn’t necessarily mean it was easy growing up. Growing up in a predominantly White neighborhoods created the need to assimilate, but even then, I felt like I was a square peg forcing myself into round holes. Nobody really understands why your family does just about everything together, or why you can’t go out at certain times of the night, or why sleepovers are forbidden. The list can go on, and it makes a significant influence on how you view yourself in the grand scheme of everything.
And then someone tells you that you’re moving to Ethiopia. Wait, so everyone will look like me?! I will know the culture! Finally, I belong! *Cue the “ We are the Champions” song*
So I jump on the flight from LA, and after 17 hours, I finally arrive at Bole Airport at 10pm on a Monday night. Initial expectations? I’ll be like Eddie Murphy in the reverse Coming to America, and I’ll find flowers thrown across the floor for my arrival in my “home away from home.” My country people will accept me like family and I will live my fairy tale – the Ethiopia edition.
*Cue record disc scratch sound* Okay that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But here is the moment when I wake up to the reality that the Coming to Ethiopia story, is a bit different than expected.
“The reality is that when I walked into the country, I was labelled as an outsider – a Ferenj.”
Everywhere I go, local people can instantly see that I stand out and I carry myself differently. Even though I know Amharic, the way I speak has a slight twang that they will pick up on -even the best speaker, can still be mocked. The various differences can leads me to believe that I am a foreigner in yet another place. Only this time, it is the people that I would least expect it to be from telling me this.
This internal struggle is the life of a diaspora.
“So many moments of mentally asking myself ‘Do they notice I’m not from here? “Did I say ___ word right?’ ‘Ugh, how do I get rid of this American accent?’ The constant yearning to fit in and belong has traveled miles with me and still can’t seem to be shaken off.”
Personally, I feel it to be a challenge of great value. As they say, nothing worth having comes easy. All of the answers to my family and sense of self is here. It isn’t easy all of the time, but for all of those mentioned moments, there are so many others that trump them daily. From the selfless acts of kindness to the multitude of lessons that people are willing to teach me, I’m just beginning to scratch the surface on what I’m here to do. I welcome the opportunity wholeheartedly and thank Ethiopia from the bottom of my heart for taking me in at such a pivotal point in my life.
Here’s to the next 5 months!
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Ethiopian Diaspora Fellowship the organization and the leadership.